I was talking with my wife about the effects I’ve noticed while using the Calibration Method. One thing that stood out to me in particular was how my approach to my to-do list has changed.

Previously, when I would attempt to revitalize my life and finally get things done, I’d prepare a list of all the important things I had to do if I was going to have any hope of improving my life. With my list in hand, that list was the only thing that mattered to me. And I worked really hard to get everything done, no matter what.

But my home life had other plans. With a full-time job, I normally work on my personal projects when I’m at home. But at home, my family has demands I need to meet as well. Help with the baby, play with the kids, do whatever seemingly random thing pops up on the “honey-do” list. And it never failed, the days that I finally psyched myself up to crush through my to-do list and change my life for the better were always the days that my wife had some sort of project that I needed to do right now. Always.

Needless to say, it was extremely frustrating. It even got to the point where I would get angry, and eventually I began to feel that my wife and my family were holding me back. Now, that’s a dangerous line of thinking! Eventually, I got to a point where I didn’t even try any more, because I knew I’d just get stopped in my tracks again by yet another diversionary project.

And that’s the beauty of the Calibration Method: with the Calibration Method, I don’t only have a list of things to do for my day, but I also have an image of the kind of person I want to be. And by following the method, it was now crystal clear to me that I want to be a Dad who is there, who plays with my kids and listens to them, and refuses to see them as an interruption. And yes, I even want to be a helpful husband that tackles the things my wife needs me to do, even if they need to be done right now.

So when I came home with a list of things that the best possible version of me needed to do today, and was psyched up to get them done, it could have been frustrating when my wife asked me to babysit our 11-month old. And in my old frame of mind, it would have been. But this time, I knew that spending time with my daughter (and helping out my wife in the process) was just as important as the things on my list. Even though my plans were sidetracked, I was still working on becoming the best possible me, which is the only real priority I have. So I played with my baby girl, and I enjoyed it, because I wasn’t stewing over all the things that I wasn’t getting done during that time.

What’s amazing is that the outcome was no different than any of the other times — I didn’t get everything done on my list that day because I no longer had the time. But I got the most important things done that day that I needed to. And more importantly, this time I realized it.