An Incomplete Vision

As I’ve been looking at my defininition of the Best Possible Version of Me, it increasingly seemed incomplete to me. I had essentially put together a series of statements that made perfect sense all by themselves, but didn’t seem to fit together well when put together. They were all a proper vision of what the Best Possible Version of Me is, but didn’t give the complete story when combined.

At the same time, I had been considering breaking my definition of the Best Possible Version of Me into 7 parts, so that I could have “theme” days, where I would spend the day focused more intently on a particluar aspect of the Best Possible Version of Me. This cyclical, focused effort would serve as a tool to improve my growth in each area over time faster than if I were to try to apply every aspect in the same measure each day.

So then the problem became, how do I divide my life into seven balanced pieces?

The Septessence

I think I’ve figured it out, in what I’m calling the “Septessence” — the 7 parts that compose the very essence of the Best Possible Version of Me. They are:

1. Mind
2. Body
3. Spirit
4. Relationships
5. Wealth
6. Impact
7. Recreation

Now, this idea isn’t 100% original. It’s heavily influenced by Dan Miller’s Wheel of Life idea, which he uses as a way to prepare a balanced list of goals. Here, I’m using the idea for the longest-term goals possible: lifetime. I’ve taken some liberties with the categories to better encapsulate what my own balanced life looks like.

Here is how I’m approaching them:

Mind

Here, I define how the Best Possible Version of Me’s mind works. What kinds of things does he think about? What tools does he use to think about them? How does he share those thoughts with others? How does he assess what others say?

Body

Here, I define how I look, how I present myself, and what my body is capable of. Grooming and hygeine, fashion, strength, speed, stamina, anything related to how I look, function and feel is summarized in this category.

Spirit

This defines my moral life. How do I know right from wrong? What lines will I not cross? How do I build a strong character and live a life in line with my ethical standards, and how do I get back on track when I fail? Anything regarding the care and feeding of my soul goes here.

Relationships

This category describes my social life. What relationships matter most to me? What do my friendships look like? How many friendships do I maintain? What do I do to build stronger relationships? The relationships category defines everything the Best Possible Version of Me does to interact with others.

Wealth

This category is not about earning money, but about using it. How do I invest? What kinds of things do I buy, and how many? What are my attitudes about money? I also define my intentions for sharing my wealth. If it has to do with building up savings, taking care of what I have, and charitable giving, this is the place for it.

Impact

This could also be called “vocation”, but I really want to focus one step beyond that: when the Best Possible Version of Me does whatever it is he does, how does that impact the lives of others? What difference can I make in the world? But it doesn’t have to be that grand a scale. What I’m trying to define here is, how is the world (or country, or community, or my family) better because I lived? What things do I do on a regular basis to have that kind of impact? Superficially, this is also where income comes from — what does the Best Possible Version of Me do that’s so valuable that people will even offer to pay me money for it because they see the value?

Recreation

Even the Best Possible Version of Me needs to relax and unwind. But I believe there are valuable ways to relax and unwind, and there are wasteful, useless ways to relax and unwind. This category helps me outline how the Best Possible Version of Me takes a break. What ways can I take a step back and get recharged, but still use the time to make myself better? That’s what I capture here.

Septessence in Practice

When I first set out to put this model into action, I was going to have 1 day each week dedicated to one of these seven categories, and continue to cycle those over and over again.

One problem with that approach, though, is that I would only focus on “Mind” on Mondays, “Body” on Tuesdays, “Spirit” on Wednesdays, and so on. But the goal is to help me eventually make all of these factors a part of my life every day. So, I now run these on an 8-day cycle. The first 7 days are each dedicated to a particular facet of the septessential me, and on the 8th day I take a shot at being the full package. This keeps things in rotation so that I learn how to work each aspect of the best possible version of me into every day of the week.

A key feature of the Calibration Method is building a to-do list for today only. This is important for several reasons:

1. Focusing solely on today stops procrastination.

   When you have a long list of things you want to get done today, tomorrow, and long into the future, it becomes really easy to let items slide because there’s always the possibility that you’ll get to it tomorrow. By setting out to build a list that contains only the items you plan to get done today, and then committing to completing them to the best of your ability, you effectively put an end to procrastination…for today, if nothing else.

2. Having a limited list motivates you to complete it all.

   When you have a list of everything you want to accomplish in a day, and are pre-committed to not filling it up with more stuff once those are done, you have a concrete finish line that you can push yourself to reach — and celebrate when you get there!

   I’ll be honest, I’ll still trying to figure out what I’m capable of in a day, so I still don’t often finish my list. But when I do, it feels great!

3. Exercising control over your day’s list in the short-term keeps you in control of your lists, not the other way around

   By limiting yourself to only doing the tasks you’ve set out to do, you make an advance decision to not worry about any other tasks that might be “out there.” After all, you’ll already prioritized your tasks and decided those other tasks weren’t necessary to do today. They may be necessary tomorrow, but not today. Sticking with that decision puts you in charge, and helps you feel a greater sense of control. Too often, the longer your list gets, the more overwhelmed you get and the less control you feel. Committing to a limited list keeps that overwhelmed feeling in check.

Even if you never implement the Calibration Method in its entirety, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to write out a list of only things you actually believe you can finish today — and make sure they’re worthy of your limited time that day!

The Calibration Method has made it a lot easier for me to do the valuable things I want to do, and do them more consistently than with any other productivity plan I’ve attempted.

One key feature of the Calibration Method is to think about your longest-term goals, but get there by a series of day-to-day decisions. You decide what kind of person you want to become in the long run, but only plan the steps that you need to take today to move closer to that target.

Previously, I had a swarm of personal projects I wanted to tackle, and was overwhelmed by the constant, nagging feeling that I wasn’t choosing to do the best thing. When I was writing my novel, I wondered if I should practice computer programming instead. And when I was practicing computer programming, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should get out my sketchpad and practice drawing. But if I took out my sketchpad, I felt like I really ought to be writing my book. Usually, I’d just shut down and play a mindless video game instead, despite the accompanying feeling that I should be doing anything else!

I still have a long list of personal projects I’d like to get done, but thanks to the Calibration Method, they all fit within the long-term context of a lifetime of personal growth, learning, and skill development. From that reference point, some of those projects really aren’t as important today as others are. By taking on the role of the best possible version of me each morning and building the to-do list that the best possible version of me would prepare, I instantly cut through all of that second-guessing and effortlessly prioritize my tasks!

For me, this has been the most important benefit of using the Calibration Method: my to-do list now has so much clarity that I’m emboldened to tackle it each day. My mind is at ease, knowing that I’m working on the most valuable things I can work on today. And tomorrow, I’ll do the same thing all over again — but I won’t have to tackle that until tomorrow.

I was talking with my wife about the effects I’ve noticed while using the Calibration Method. One thing that stood out to me in particular was how my approach to my to-do list has changed.

Previously, when I would attempt to revitalize my life and finally get things done, I’d prepare a list of all the important things I had to do if I was going to have any hope of improving my life. With my list in hand, that list was the only thing that mattered to me. And I worked really hard to get everything done, no matter what.

But my home life had other plans. With a full-time job, I normally work on my personal projects when I’m at home. But at home, my family has demands I need to meet as well. Help with the baby, play with the kids, do whatever seemingly random thing pops up on the “honey-do” list. And it never failed, the days that I finally psyched myself up to crush through my to-do list and change my life for the better were always the days that my wife had some sort of project that I needed to do right now. Always.

Needless to say, it was extremely frustrating. It even got to the point where I would get angry, and eventually I began to feel that my wife and my family were holding me back. Now, that’s a dangerous line of thinking! Eventually, I got to a point where I didn’t even try any more, because I knew I’d just get stopped in my tracks again by yet another diversionary project.

And that’s the beauty of the Calibration Method: with the Calibration Method, I don’t only have a list of things to do for my day, but I also have an image of the kind of person I want to be. And by following the method, it was now crystal clear to me that I want to be a Dad who is there, who plays with my kids and listens to them, and refuses to see them as an interruption. And yes, I even want to be a helpful husband that tackles the things my wife needs me to do, even if they need to be done right now.

So when I came home with a list of things that the best possible version of me needed to do today, and was psyched up to get them done, it could have been frustrating when my wife asked me to babysit our 11-month old. And in my old frame of mind, it would have been. But this time, I knew that spending time with my daughter (and helping out my wife in the process) was just as important as the things on my list. Even though my plans were sidetracked, I was still working on becoming the best possible me, which is the only real priority I have. So I played with my baby girl, and I enjoyed it, because I wasn’t stewing over all the things that I wasn’t getting done during that time.

What’s amazing is that the outcome was no different than any of the other times — I didn’t get everything done on my list that day because I no longer had the time. But I got the most important things done that day that I needed to. And more importantly, this time I realized it.

When I think about being “better,” I don’t think about being superhuman, or being everything that I’m not, but about being me — only better. I’m talking about the best possible version of me, the kind of person that wakes up in the morning, knows what he wants to do, and gets it done. And not just inconsequential things like taking out the garbage and tidying my office, but significant, important things — the kinds of things that can change the world!

It’s intimidating at times to realize that I can be so much more, partly because I’ve fallen so low that it can seem difficult to honestly see myself living up to that standard. But the thing I often forget is that you don’t go from being an amateur to an instant professional overnight, it takes lots of dedicated training and practice. It’s only by putting in the time and effort that you become an expert in your field.

That’s the most important benefit of the Calibration Method: its goal is to help you step up your game from being an average, amateur “you” to become an expert “you,” the best possible version of “you,” through daily training, just as an athlete or a musician improves a little bit each day. I developed the Calibration Method in response to my own ever-growing feeling that I wasn’t living up to my potential and that I could be and do so much more than I currently was. I’ll soon be 40, and so you can also chalk this up to a kind of mid-life crisis. Some guys buy sports cars, I build a personal development system. To each his own.

I’ve been using the system now for about 3 weeks, and I must say I’m quite pleased with the results. My life while using this system has definitely been going through a dramatic shift, though to an outside observer it may seem that nothing has changed. But my biggest success has been in those little moments, where I’m faced with a choice to either keep living the same sub-par life I’ve been living up to now, or make a simple choice in the moment to be better, and begin training to be the best possible version of me.

I mean moments like not taking that second helping at the dinner table, when I would normally take seconds or even thirds. Moments like using a pocket of free time to actually do push-ups, squats and sit-ups, rather than watching TV. Moments like choosing to work on productive work, rather than play video games. These are small victories in and of themselves, but I’m winning more and more of these kinds of victories with each new day, and each victory builds momentum for continuing victories. I’m happier now, I’m getting healthier, I’m more confident, and far more optimistic than I can remember being for quite some time. And that’s after only a few weeks of using this program!

So now, I’m a true believer. I think the Calibration Method is the perfect tool for anybody that finds themselves in a rut and needs a way out, especially when they begin to fear there may not be a way out! I’ll be using this site to make the Calibration Method available to you, and to share with you what I learn as I continue to implement it, like tips and tricks that can help you speed along even more quickly in shaping yourself to become the best possible version of you.